KITA HANYA MERANCANG, TUHAN YANG MENENTUKANNYA.
Life, it seems, after leaving UITM, has been some sort of roller-coaster for me. While in school, everything seemed so easy. Even though life was much of a routine there, everything was laid out. All I had to do was live and pass through each day. Then I graduated and the realities started to sink in. Especially as I saw my friends and other people my age moving on - working, moving out from their parents' homes, buying cars, getting engaged, getting married and having babies. And I started to wonder what I want to do with my life. What are my plans?
But being me, I always have everything figured out in life. My job, my friends, even my future. But always, always, Allah has other plans for me. Yes, I do have a lot of things in life - a great family, a good career (the chance of doing something I really like), good prospects and opportunities to further my studies, wonderful friends - and I am thankful for all that HE has given me. But most of the time, things never occur according to my plans.
I know that Allah knows what is best for me. I know that He has everything mapped out for me. He has arranged for how my life should be. And even if I want one thing so badly, He will not give it to me if it does not bring me any good. Alhamdulillah for the Love and Blessings He showers me with. But being the weak person that I am, I always wonder the reasons behind everything that happened in my life - the tragedies, the events, the failures and successes, the quarrels, the arguments and even the people I meet. I have this believe that everything happens for a reason yet I always fail to fathom these reasons. My brain, it seems, fail to understand a lot of things. And because of that, I am a very weak person.
And this weak person is deeply wondering, desperately trying to understand everything that has been going on in her life and everything around her. Easier said than done.
"Kuatkanlah hatiku, semangatku, Ya Allah. Berikanlah kepadaku ketenangan untuk menghadapi apa jua yang telah Engkau takdirkan untukku. Sesungguhnya, aku selemah-lemah manusia..."